A Karamazovian World

Of late I've been reading Fyodor Dostoyevsky's The Brothers Karamazov, and by "of late" I mean for the last several months because it's roughly 350,000 words long (which is about half the length of the entire Bible). It has become my favorite book. The characters, and the writing are so beautiful and rich and real. Dostoyevsky accomplishes what I rarely find in my reading - each of his characters is NOT just a facet of his own personality taken to the nth degree. They all seem fully alive and individual, like each is writing his own personality into the story, completely independent of the others. Even the narrator character is original and deeply developed and has this magical nature of fading completely out of the story when appropriate.

And the ideas that Dostoyevsky has captured... they are simply amazing! I think most people would faint dead-away if they realized how much 19th century Russia was like modern America. One hundred years ago Russians had the same hopes and aspirations for the future. The same debates raged between the scientific world and the religious world. The same disparity existed between rich and poor. The believed in the same principles of capitalism and freedom. They had the same basic social stigmas - debauchery, alcoholism, expensive (or non-existant) health care, et c. Look at this passage spoken by an Elder monk who is on his deathbed:

The world has proclaimed freedom, particularly of late, and yet what do we see in this freedom of theirs: nothing but servitude and suicide! For the world says: 'You have needs, so satisfy them, for you have the same rights as the wealthiest and most highly placed of men. Do not be afraid to satisfy them, but even multiply them' - that is the present-day teaching of the world. In that, too, they see freedom. And what is the result of this right to the multiplication of needs? Among the rich solitariness and spiritual suicide, and among the poor - envy and murder, for while they have been given rights, they have not yet been afforded the means with which to satisfy their needs. Assurance is offered that as time goes by the world will become more united, that it will form itself into a brotherly communion by shortening the distance and transmitting thoughts through the air. Alas, do not believe in such a unification of men. In constructing freedom as the multiplication and speedy satisfaction of needs, they distort their own nature, for they engender within themselves many senseless and stupid desires, habits and most absurd inventions.... [F]or how can he desist from his habits, this slave, where can he go, if he is so accustomed to satisfying his countless needs, which he himself has invented? Solitary is he, and what concern can he have to the whole? And they have reached a point where the quantity of objects they amass is even greater, and their joy is even smaller.

(bold mine)

Now realize that what you just read was published in 1880 and note particularly the sentence I emphasized. This was written just shortly after radio waves had been discovered and 15 years before the worlds first radio-transmitted message!

It's amazing to me that Dostoyevsky's analysis of the human condition was so accurate that the directions in which he saw society flowing 130 years ago could almost be considered prophecy when compared to the world we now occupy. With a cell phone in every pocket and the explosive popularity of Twitter it's almost a literal statement to say that "thoughts are transmitted through the air" these days. And though we are more connected via immediate global communication than ever before we're more isolated and solitary than we've ever been.

Why?

Note the clever use of the letters 'co' in the word communication - it's almost as if we're supposed to believe that communication should be a cooperative effort between a couple of people who seek to coexist. Lies, I tell you - LIES! Those two letters are in there because it should only take a couple of seconds for my computer to copy some music or collect some porn. (sarcasm)

At least I think that's sarcasm... it may be closer to the truth than I care to realize.

Jesus said "you cannot serve two masters". We can either choose to be a slave ourselves and our desires, or we can choose to be a slave to something or someone other. I can't be both benevolent and greedy. In a world where I'm indoctrinated from birth that "life is short", that I should "have it my way" and regardless of the consequences "just do it", that I'd better get my "iPhone" hooked up to my "iMac" so I can "be the first to know" "because I'm worth it" it's darn near impossible NOT to be a slave to myself.

What unity can exist between a bunch of self-enslaved loners? What good is the exchange of free thought if we say what we think only if doing so benefits us or use what we learn only for our own gain?

It's not all about me. Nothing could be more completely obvious yet somehow that fact escapes the better portion of us.

Dostoyevsky knew that; Jesus knew that.

Why don't we?

Feeling loved.

Nothing has ever made me feel more loved than hearing my son cry.

Sounds weird huh?

Let me elaborate. Judah's gotten to the age now that he knows when I haven't been around for a while (like at work all day, or out in the yard for 30 minutes or so). When I first walk into the room and he sees me his little face lights up, and let me tell you that we've all heard the phrase 'face lights up' and think we know what it means but until you've seen your baby son do it you have NO idea what it really means, and if I'm not able to come directly to him and pick him up, like last night I was covered in sweat from mowing, he just starts bawling!

THAT makes you feel loved. That is God's love. That is amazing.

Temporary (or maybe permanent) home for accordingtomatthew.com.

My server is not plugged up at home and it was pretty slow anyway. I may just leave it here, who knows.

What motivates you?

I am guilty of thinking I know better.

And sometimes Jesus corrects me in the oddest ways.

We're going through the membership classes at our new church which of course, means we are learning about the church's doctrines. Lots of interesting discussions happen when you put 30 people in a room and read them definite, written statements about religion. One of these focused around the idea of motivation - both the motivation behind accepting Christ and the motivation causing Christians to act. At one point, I'm a little fuzzy on the conversation leading up to this, someone asks (voice dripping with sarcasm and disdain) "so what your saying is that people are motivated by fear and self-interest?"

I can certainly understand where he's coming from, but unfortunately the answer is yes: sometimes people are best motivated by fear and self-interest. In a perfect world of course we should be motivated by love and adoration and other good things and that isn't to say that we aren't so-motivated sometimes.

Unlikely Profundity

I love finding profound statements/ideas in unusual places especially when they inadvertently reference Christian thought in a secular forum. Or, to put it more simply, I like deep thoughts from people who don't know they are thinking deep.

"The Simpsons" used to be a good source for these but they've gotten so good at it over the years that we've come to expect some profound statement on life/human nature (as evidenced by blog posts like this). Last night the script writers on "Bones" surprised me with their insight. Some guy's sister died, they were close, et c. and Bones asked him if it was worth it, the whole deep-connection-with-the-risk-that-someday-you-may-lose-the-person-and-be-sad thing (there is a whole backstory there with Bones that you kind of have to watch the show a lot to understand), and he says "if I was willing to give up my life for her why wouldn't I be willing to give up my happiness as well?"

That was like a backhand across the face when I put it in a Christian context. I think if you asked most Christians, myself included, if they would die for the cause of Jesus and they'll get all gung-ho on you: "Yeah! Bring on the cross, crucify me upside down, I'll give my life for Christ!" But if you asked those same people if they'd give up their happiness for Jesus - if they'd live out the remainder of their long, long life in squalor and misery and the only joy they can have is in knowing that their misery is furthering the cause of Christ  - I think you'll see some blank stares, and hear some arguments (that will probably sound more like pleading than anything else) about how "that's not how God works".

I unfortunately don't have some big inspiring take on this situation as I find myself pretty squarely in the death-but-not-unhappiness crowd, but I wanted to point out that when Jesus says the one who loses his life for His sake will find it, He's not just talking about lessening the number of breaths you take. As Job, Paul, and most of the OT prophet's lives demonstrate, sometimes the Story of Jesus involves sorrow and suffering among those He loves.

I wonder what the world would be like if more of us who profess to love Him took comfort not in being comfortable but in His own words: "Blessed are those who weep and mourn, for they shall be comforted."

James 1:22-25

James 1:22-25

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does.

Maybe this has happened to you: you're out on a date, thinking you're looking hot,  when you pass by mirror and notice a massive black blob stuck between your two front teeth. Or maybe it was some random piece of hair has gone totally Alfalfa on you? What about that time you played backyard football and flaunted your ballerina-like grace as you high-stepped in for the winning touchdown only to later see the cameraphone instant-replay and realize you actually looked like a drunken giraffe?

Or maybe I'm the only one that's happened to...

How we think we look is usually pretty different from how we actually look. That's the kind of thing James is talking about here, but on all levels - not just looks. We are all God's creatures (def. 'created things') and therefore we can only ever be what He created us to be. That's not fate; that's design. Unlike fate, becoming what you were created to be doesn't have to happen. Like a Da Vinci painting that gets tossed in the attic until the house falls down around it, something that is created to be beautiful might never actually become a "work of art" in the hanging-in-a-museum, revered-by-millions sense. Kierkegaard called it 'The Sickness Unto Death' to never become what God created you to be.  Revealed is the word, I think best fits the situation. You were created, you were "painted", if you will, by God to be one specific work of art. Your beauty may be revealed only as that piece of art, or it simply will not be revealed. If you are a Rembrandt you cannot be revealed as a Calvin and Hobbes comic.

Because Jesus painted us He's the only one who knows our true beauty. He's the only one who knows whether we are a Michelangelo, a Van Gogh, or a Matisse. So, it only makes sense, that He has to be the one to reveal us, first and foremost, to ourselves. Jesus has to be our mirror. Jesus must be where we look for our reflection to see the true beauty we posses.

The difficult question then becomes, how do we do this? How do we look to Jesus as a mirror?

In short; DO what He says. He said so himself in Luke 6:46-49.

Quick note here: we aren't doing what He says or being obedient to Him in order to earn His favor. The beauty of grace is that it is unmerited favor; there is nothing we can do to deserve it.

There is defintely a magical aspect to the way in which doing, or obeying, or mimicking Jesus helps us to become what what we are and that will just have to be filed under 'Mysteries of the Faith', but I think there are also some very simple, very natural reasons why we do this.

First of all, humans learn by doing. We don't call someone who picks up a guitar for the first time a guitar player, nor do we call someone who's memorized every book on music and guitars, but has never touched one, a guitar player. Guitar players are called that because they DO guitar. Everything Jesus told us to DO in the entire New Testament can be boiled down to one simple statement (and in fact Jesus already boiled it down for us Matthew 22:37-40): Love God and love others more than yourself!

So how do you become a Lover of God and a Lover of Others?

By DOING it!

Not preaching about it, not teaching about it, not converting others to your way of thinking, not arguing with atheists about it, not (ahem) writing blogs about it, but by LOVING God, LOVING others and forgetting about the self we're so desperately trying to find. As Jesus said, 'he who loses his life (self) for My sake, will find it'.

Secondly, Jesus didn't just tell us to do these things - He did them Himself. So not only are we becoming Lovers of God and Lovers of Others, we are becoming like Jesus! That's the work of art we're meant to be. We're so much more than a Raphael, or a Monet; we're a Jesus. We're each a self portrait of the Master. Christ prayed in John 17:21 that we all be as one with Him and the Father. To be truly revealed is to be shown how you are the very image and likeness of God, to finally understand what it means to be one with the Creator.

That's who you are.

(and me too!)

All that I adore...

One of the lyrics in a worship song I heard Sunday says, "All that I adore is in You." That line has always frustrated me. At least the concept behind that line has always frustrated me. There are similar lyrics in lots of worship songs. It frustrates me because I've always thought of it as meaning "the only things in life that I love are the concepts that I have in the made-up version of what You are in my head." Which is just not true, for anyone. Nobody loves only the things in life that they think are "Jesusy" like love, and faith, and giving all your money to the poor, and preaching to the lost, and suffering for those you love and being without sin. I don't care how good anyone is or *thinks* he is; no one loves only those things and nothing else. I love beer and the crack of shoulderpads and stuffing my face with food at Thanksgiving, a loud heavily distorted G chord (a rock G with two D's in the chord not the happy G with two B's), the sight of my wife doing housework in nothing but a button-up and sex and a good fight scene in movies and comedians who cuss and offensive jokes because people are different and that's just funny and anything man made that's just beautifully crafted and solving any kind of problem and chocolate and synchronized headbanging and songs/movies that make you cry (sad or happy cries, doesn't matter) and drag racing and beautiful photos (sometimes better than the actual thing they were taken of) and sci-fi and Stephen King novels and proving I'm right and playing in a rock n roll band and kittens and surely these kinds of things can't be found in Jesus... can they?

Well maybe...

What I realized is that what this line really means (at least to me, can't speak for the actual author) is not some mushy lying sentiment, "oh, Jesus I promise to love only the things that are in you"; no, it's really just a very simple, straightforward statement of absolute truth: all the things that I love in this world, the very essence that makes me love them, the fact that there is anything about them to love at all is because at the core, the real "stuff" or "meat" of that thing I love is something that was first in Jesus. The thing I love in this world is a sketch of the Thing that I really love in that other world. C.S. Lewis said that all the things we love about someone are things that are found first and found perfectly in Jesus. That perfect way that our friends calm and comfort us is an echo of Jesus' own method of comfort. That which we admire as beauty in another person is a reverberation of the real Beauty. All that I adore, here and there and everywhere and regardless of what I *think* I know about God, all those things are in Him.

And that makes me happy. And a little less aggravated with sappy worship songs.